“When faced with someone’s control drama, one can stay immune to it by 1) identifying it and pointing it out, and 2) avoid acting in any way which resembles its corresponding counterpart control drama.” – J Websdale
Many people go through their lives in a constant hunt for someone else’s energy. It is unconscious in many people. All they know is that when they control others they feel better. What they don’t realise is that this sense of feeling better costs the other person. It is their energy that is stolen.
Manipulation for other people’s energy can happen either aggressively, directly forcing people to pay attention to them, or passively, playing on people’s sympathy or curiosity to gain attention.
So first, let’s look at the main ways control dramas are played out.
If someone threatens you, either verbally or physically, then you are forced, for fear of something bad happening to you, to pay attention to them and so to give them energy. The person threatening you would be pulling you into the most aggressive kind of control drama – the intimidator.
If, on the other hand, someone tells you all the horrible things that are already happening to them, implying perhaps that you are responsible, and that, if you refuse to help, these horrible things are going to continue, then this person is seeking to control at the most passive level – a “poor me” drama. Continue reading