If today were my last day on Earth and I could share 500 words of brilliance with the world, here are the important things I’d want to pass along to others…For the majority of my life I felt flawed. Not slightly flawed, drastically flawed.I see now that I was simply so desperate to feel wanted, desired, cherished, cared for – any version of love that would show up I would grab hold and not let go…I feared it was all I would ever get.

I would do anything to “prove” my worth – going above and beyond the call of duty many times, only to find heartbreak, disappointment and betrayal.

Each heartbreak, disappointment and betrayal then only solidified what I felt in my heart to be true – I was damaged, beyond repair, like the sofa you put out on the curb for the city to take to the dump. Although unlike the sofa, I had never felt loved – even when shiny, clean and new.

My deepest, darkest secret was that I felt UN-Loveable.

I never even had the wish that someone would actually commit to loving me forever.

When I would get quiet I would ask myself, “What do I want? What do I really want?”

Every time the answer was LOVE.

Love is the greatest thing of all, and you have the power to create exactly the love you most desire because the fact that you desire it means it is possible for you.

How do I know this to be true?

Because I grew up in a home with verbal and physical abuse and in my 20s I chose a guy (who I thought I would marry and spend my life with), who beat me. It was the wake-up call of a lifetime.

I know you can have the relationship of your dreams because today I am married to my Beloved and he is everything I ever wanted and more! I know that if I could come from where I’ve been, to be where I am now, that it is possible for YOU.

The key is to love yourself first, then and only then, that love will be reflected back to you through the eyes of your Beloved.

• Love is a choice. Choosing love means that you are loving to yourself always – even when you mess up.
• Refill your own cup. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself so that you do not fall into sacrifice.
• Ask for what you need. Never say something you don’t mean, particularly, “Yes.”
• Honor your “No.” When you say “No” you honor yourself and it makes your “Yes” a joy to give.
• You cannot say or do the wrong thing with the Right Person. If it didn’t work out, then it wasn’t your Beloved.
• Your True Soul Partner will love that thing about you that all the others told you they were leaving because of.
• Speak how you feel regardless of the expectations of others. This is the only way to connect authentically and create intimacy. The magic of intimacy is that it does not require agreement, only that you be authentic.
• If you can dream it, you can create it, simply take an action step toward it!

All the songs, poems, films and books can’t be wrong, as in the song Nature Boy by Eden Ahbez: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”