The Christ spoke with me last night. I call him that rather than the more familiar “Jesus” because I think it fair to say that we are not on a first name basis. I guess you can imagine my surprise, then, when of all the people in the world he could have spoken to – clergy members, political leaders, Fox “news” commentators, etc. – he chose me.
After all, judging by what I see around me, I am not by any stretch of the imagination what many, perhaps even most, would deem a good Christian, or even remotely religious as commonly understood. But who am I to question the will of the son of god? Maybe he just needed to rant a bit, I thought, to blow off steam.
I can certainly understand his frustration given the state of the world and the way his teachings have been ignored, misinterpreted, and exploited by those who claim to be his followers. Or maybe he just wanted to talk with someone he could trust to just listen and not distort his words for their advantage or to the disadvantage of other human beings.
He began by asking me, and these are his words not mine, to tell those fu*k*ng idiots who profess to be Christians to stop creating disunity and discord over stupid sh*t like whether an arbitrarily selected day, December 25th, a day that roughly coincided with the Roman pagan festival of Saturnalia, is referred to as Christmas, or xmas, or as a holiday.
He said such concerns are a meaningless distraction from what is truly important. He was clearly outraged that, with all the pain and suffering in the world, people claiming to be Christians would spend their time foolishly debating the ethnicity of a mythological character, Santa Claus.