Nanice Ellis – I know how difficult it can be to trust something you cannot see, and maybe even something that has disappointed you or let you down in the past. This idea of trust was foreign to me as well, for much of my life. My parents didn’t trust and even the nuns at catholic school didn’t seem to practice trust. Fortunately, life gave me a first-hand education in trusting this invisible source of reality, I now call God (aka Universe, Source, Consciousness etc…).
I was seventeen years old, and had just barely escaped a physically abusive (life-threatening) relationship. I was lost and confused, not knowing how to live the life that was now surprisingly before me. So, when I witnessed a falling star one autumn night, I had no idea what to wish for. By default and not wanting to miss the opportunity, I wished, “Please give me something that I need that I don’t know I need.”
Hindsight: never make this type of wish if you are not prepared for the outcome.
Several weeks later, I discovered that I was pregnant. More confused than ever, I roamed the streets searching for an answer inside my mixed-up mind. Just when I thought I would never be able to make a choice, I suddenly knew that I would have this baby and raise him.
Now, this might seem like the worst thing for a teenage girl. Many might say, a teenage pregnancy is a life sentence or the end of life, but for me it was the beginning. Falling in love with my unborn child, birthing this beauty, and raising him as the cherished being he was (and is) literally saved my life.
So, when I wished for something that I didn’t know that I needed, that is exactly what I got. I asked myself, “What do I want for my child?” The answer was something that I didn’t possess for myself. It was unconditional self-worth. Knowing I had to have it in order to give it, I set sail on an emotional, mental and spiritual journey of finding it for myself. Honestly, it was that single choice, decades ago, that has led me here today speaking, in this way, to you. Continue reading →