Kate Bartolotta – In this day and age where the constant use of social media demands that we label and define ourselves to others in every way possible, it’s important to understand the true meaning and use of the word introvert.
A lot of people use the words “introverted” and “shy” interchangeably; they don’t mean the same thing.
As someone who works with people all the time, you’d think I’d be an extrovert. I’m friendly. I’m not shy. But when I get close to my “people time” limit, it’s time to shut down, be quiet and hole up with a good book. I love helping people, but there’s a huge reason that I balance that type of work with work where I get to be quiet and dive in to working with words instead of being bombarded with interaction.
It’s because—although I don’t fall into some of the old stereotypes—I’m an introvert.
I spent years feeling guilty if I wanted to spend time alone instead of doing things with friends. I learned to make the best of it, and often pushed myself to be social—even when it felt exhausting. Many people do this, as extroversion tends to be prized in our society, while introversion is seen as a “second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.” It is none of those things. It’s the way an estimated two-thirds to one-half of us are wired, and it can be our greatest asset.
As I mentioned, being introverted isn’t the same thing as being shy (though there’s nothing wrong with being shy either). Many shy people are also introverted, but one doesn’t really have much to do with the other. The best explanation I was ever given (and maybe one of the biggest “aha!” moments of my adult life) was that while extroverts are energized by connecting and spending time with others, introverts need inward-focused, alone time to recharge.
Continue reading →