Paul Lenda – When challenging situations occur in our lives, it’s easy to feel like a victim. However, when we attach so strongly to the identify of being a victim, we make it difficult for us to improve our situation. What we focus on becomes a more ingrained part of our reality. While we cannot always avoid difficult situations that cause us to suffer, we can approach those situations differently. Remember that no matter what your circumstances, you have the power to choose your response.
Take the recent global pandemic. You may get sick from the virus or you may just be affected by the response to the virus spreading, such as losing your job. It’s easy to get stuck in victim mode and get into a negative mindset. It’s understandable that you will feel strong and even negative emotions initially (we’re human, after all). However, if you stay there, you make it very difficult for your circumstances to change.
Let’s say you lost your job due to layoffs. Instead of working all the time for someone else and getting paid a little bit for your efforts, you can see this as a new opportunity with many possibilities. You can learn a new skill that will allow you to become your own boss. You can also take the time to go into a silent or mindful meditation retreat in your home (or backyard). There are many other opportunities that lie in the wake of a perceived crisis. Allow yourself to shift into a consciousness of empowerment. While you feel you were wronged in some way, you can still choose to use it as an opportunity to become better and make your life better.
I Am Not a Victim
You may need to tell yourself point-blank that you are not a victim. Affirm the truth.
“I am not a victim.”
The world is not against you. Stop blaming others for the “bad” things that happen in your life. If you don’t, you will create a perpetual feedback loop that will reinforce that reality and you will find yourself in more situations that make you feel victimized. You need to take responsibility for your life. If you don’t, you allow external factors to dictate your happiness and how your life plays out. Notice how much better you feel once you start taking responsibility to do what you can do, not being stopped by what you can’t do.
Alchemize “I Can’t” Into “I Can”
Negating statements are like casting self-destructive spells. You are instantly affirming to yourself and the universe that something is impossible for you to do. You are creating and solidifying a limiting belief. Instead of having an “I can’t” mindset, shift into an “I can” mentality. Do your best to catch yourself anytime you say you cannot do something. Immediately alchemize it and replace it with defining something that you can do. This gives you positive and creative energy that propels you to take action according to your means and ability. Get creative and find a way for the energy to move.
Have an Attitude of Gratitude
Express gratitude…not necessarily for the experience that has caused you suffering, but for everything else in your life that you are happy about. Start small and simple, like being grateful to have eyes to see or being able to breathe, and go from there. You can start a gratitude journal or a gratitude meditation, where you go through everything that you can be grateful for in your life.
We all fall into victim consciousness now and again. That’s OK. What’s important is to identify when we are doing this and acknowledge that we have the power to change how we respond to a situation and to life. We are limitless beings capable of far more than we sometimes allow ourselves to believe. No situation or circumstance is too great to overcome. There is always an opportunity to rise above the challenges we face in life and not let them define us.
SF Source Wake Up World Apr 2020