Mary O’Malley – I invite you to take a few moments to close your eyes and simply listen to your life. There are myriad sounds happening all around you and within you. If your mind is a little unsettled with this, count how many different sounds you hear. Stay with this for as long as you can… listening…your attention going back to the stories…and then bringing it back to listening again.
As you lift your attention out of your stories about Life and truly listen, you are making direct contact with your life. Even though this is deeply healing, it may be difficult for your mind to actually be present for the sounds because, if you are like most people, you are not used to doing this. Instead, you are used to thinking about Life rather than actually being here for it. But just a few minutes a day when you use sounds to bring you back to the living experience of Life can be very healing and it can show you that there are all your stories about Life, and then there is Life!
Another place that listening can be so very powerful is in relationships. If you are honest with yourself, you have been conditioned not to really listen to another person when they are speaking. If someone is talking, you are often times planning your response and if somebody is sharing from reaction, you may find yourself attacking, defending, or even trying to override what they are saying. (Which, as we all know, doesn’t lead to any good place.)
As you give yourself the gift of listening to the sounds of Life, you are developing your muscle of paying attention to what is. And you can bring this ability to be present for what is into your relationships. Start with everyday conversations. See if you can truly hear what the other person is saying, and if your mind wanders, focus on seeing the other person’s face. I assure you, the art of listening to what another person is trying to communicate is one of the most powerfully healing things you can bring into a relationship.
The third place where listening is so very healing is with yourself. It is a startling realization when you realize how little you listen to yourself. Like many people, you are oftentimes up in your head, out of your body, planning, trying, judging, fixing, analyzing and controlling. But one of the things that you most deeply long for is for you to listen to you!
If this intrigues you, start with small things that don’t have much of a charge. For example, before you get out of bed in the morning find three different sensations in your body and name them. This may not seem very powerful but each moment you do this, rather than being caught in your stories about Life, your attention is with your immediate experience. You’re actually present for yourself by paying attention to your sensations!
You can also sit quietly for a few minutes every morning and listen to the sounds around you like we explored above. Be not dismayed by how challenging this can be. Those stories in your head have a tendency to interrupt! But know that every moment you bring your attention back to the sounds, you are discovering how to pay attention to Life rather than always paying attention to your stories about Life.
The next step comes as you slowly learn how to listen to the stories in your head rather than always following them wherever they go. And it begins to dawn on you how young those stories are a good deal of the time – how much they struggle with Life; how much they want you and your life to be different than what it is.
As your heart begins to open to how much your mind struggles, you begin to be able to listen to the feelings that generate these struggles – the sadness and loneliness, the not-enoughness, the anger and the shame, the undercurrent of unease and anxiousness. To discover the art of actually recognizing these feelings rather than running away from them or falling into them and to touch them with your heart is one of the most healing gifts that you will ever give to yourself.
It may take a while, but if you consistently give yourself a few minutes a day to notice sensations or the sounds around you, you begin to see that having your attention and your immediate experience together is one of the most powerful healing things you can do. Start with sounds or your body. Develop the muscle of the kind of attention that listens to Life rather than always trying to make it different so you can rediscover the joy of being here for Life.
SF Source Mary O’Malley Jul 2018