Are You an Introverted or Extroverted Empath?

Are You an Introverted or Extroverted Empath?Dr. Judy Orloff – In The Empath’s Survival Guide, I emphasize that empaths and highly sensitive people have different styles of socializing and interacting with the world. Most empaths are introverted, though some are extroverted. Other empaths called ambiverts have qualities of both. It’s important to notice what your own styles are so you can honor them. Each day, your style may shift according to your own energy level or needs. Tracking these fluctuations is a form of self-care that will keep you balanced.

Introverts

Introverted empaths, like me, have a minimal tolerance for socializing and small talk. They tend to be quieter at gatherings and prefer leaving early. Often they prefer to take their own cars so they don’t have to feel trapped or dependent on others for a ride. Continue reading

Being a Loner and Finding Love

lonerAletheia Luna – Being a loner comes with a sort of unspoken “job description.” 1) You like spending most of your time alone, 2) You are self-sufficient and don’t “need” other people to fill your life, and 3) Socializing is your arch-nemesis.

If you’re a loner, this job description, this self-definition, is carried throughout your days giving you a sense of freedom from social burdens, but also a sense of lurking loneliness and craving.

But how can you be a loner that enjoys your solitude but still desires to find a lover or friend? Isn’t this completely incompatible with who you are? Isn’t there a problem here?

Recently I received two separate emails, and in the past I’ve received many more, detailing such a frustrating and seemingly self-contradictory feeling.

Arman, one of our readers from Lithuania for instance, writes: Continue reading

Do You Know What It Means To Be An Introvert?

timeKate Bartolotta – In this day and age where the constant use of social media demands that we label and define ourselves to others in every way possible, it’s important to understand the true meaning and use of the word introvert.

A lot of people use the words “introverted” and “shy” interchangeably; they don’t mean the same thing.

As someone who works with people all the time, you’d think I’d be an extrovert. I’m friendly. I’m not shy. But when I get close to my “people time” limit, it’s time to shut down, be quiet and hole up with a good book. I love helping people, but there’s a huge reason that I balance that type of work with work where I get to be quiet and dive in to working with words instead of being bombarded with interaction.

It’s because—although I don’t fall into some of the old stereotypes—I’m an introvert.

I spent years feeling guilty if I wanted to spend time alone instead of doing things with friends. I learned to make the best of it, and often pushed myself to be social—even when it felt exhausting. Many people do this, as extroversion tends to be prized in our society, while introversion is seen as a “second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.” It is none of those things. It’s the way an estimated two-thirds to one-half of us are wired, and it can be our greatest asset.

As I mentioned, being introverted isn’t the same thing as being shy (though there’s nothing wrong with being shy either). Many shy people are also introverted, but one doesn’t really have much to do with the other. The best explanation I was ever given (and maybe one of the biggest “aha!” moments of my adult life) was that while extroverts are energized by connecting and spending time with others, introverts need inward-focused, alone time to recharge.

Continue reading

5 Things About Introverts Other People Just Can’t Understand

Christina – Sometimes, being the pensive introvert and preferring to spend time alone over spending time with others may mean other people just don’t understand certain things about your personality. Paying close attention to one’s own thoughts, emotions and being selectively social may seem alien to others who aren’t used to an introvert’s ways.

Here are 5 things about introverts that other people, mainly extroverts, just can’t get their head around.

introvert
art by Rosie Hardy

1. Being an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean you’re shy, retiring or socially awkward.

An introvert gains energy from spending time alone. They prefer to look internally for comfort and answers to questions, rather than turning to the outside world. Some introverts may be shy and awkward in social situations, but not all introverts are. Just because somebody defines themselves as an introvert, doesn’t mean they can’t network like a pro at a social event every now and then, it just means they will need time to spend alone to revive themselves afterwards and time to reflect on what happened during the event. Continue reading

14 Truths About Being An Introvert…

…that mainly introverts will understand

WomanBubbleIntrovertIn her book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking“, Susan Cain illustrates how today’s world has created an Extrovert culture; the ideal is to be sociable, loud, bold, and it is so because it resonates with how most of our interactions are nowadays. We are bold and loud all day on our social media; the corporate environment favors the “golden boy/girl”, who wins over investments with daring ideas and a charming personality.

But what about the other side of the spectrum? What about introverts? The people who choose a quiet evening at home instead of a large social gathering can obviously be equally capable, strong and successful. So, what does it mean to be an introvert? It’s not the stereotypical notion of the shut-in, that is for sure.

Below are 14 things about being an introvert that can help you understand what it means to be one (or you can experience a moment of recognition if you are, like the writer of this article, an introvert herself):

1. An introverted person can function better when working alone, than when working in a team. It’s not about being a “team player”, it’s about what can help them produce the best possible result. And working in a team, well…it’s is distracting. Continue reading