Sven Krumrey – Do you like humans? Every human? Kudos to anyone who can answer yes to both questions! A friend of mine postulated that 50% of humanity is made up of disgruntled individuals, an extreme view, admittedly. But it’s feasible, especially when you take a closer look at social networks. What was originally a meeting place for nerds has become a representative cross-section of our society, pros and cons notwithstanding. Still, it’s quite easy to figure out what type of person you’re dealing with….

Someone writes “Summer’s here, the trees are sprouting!” in a Facebook group.

The fact freak

“No, no, noooo. Summer doesn’t start before June 21, around the summer solstice. Why don’t you use Google before you write something like that.”.

The fact freak was still in his romper, neatly decorated with the Smurfs, when he read his first encyclopedia and lost his sense of humor. Ever since then, he’s been on a holy crusade to provide everyone around him with facts and to rebuke people. His wife comes to his defense with the phrase “Other men smoke!”.

The resident historian

“Interestingly, it is rather late for summer. Compared to the summer of ’79, we are two weeks behind and in ’66 it was already this warm in March.”

You don’t care about yesterday’s weather? The resident historian does and he cares about many other odd things, too. He can tell you when bus number 2 still went all the way up to the industrial area, why the butcher shop down at the railway depot shut down and what color the lids on the garbage can had a long time ago. He frowns on anyone who doesn’t appreciate his wisdom and loves to be the treasurer of his local tourist club.

The aggro guy

“Hallelujah, lovely foliage isn’t it? Love ticks? And who will be raking up all those leafs at the end of the day? How can you be so naive????”.
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