Jennifer Hoffman – When I first published this article about 10 years ago it was very popular. Many people saw themselves in it and realized that the painful, unfulfilling relationships and situations they were holding onto so tightly that they did not have the time or energy for anything else were very one-sided.

They knew in their hearts that someone needed them, but the other person was rejecting their efforts because they did not want them or their light or energy. It was an unbalanced attempt at resolving karmic entanglements, karmic debts, and trying to get closure in situations by creating a pre-destined resolution that just was not going to happen. We do tend to hang onto our karma with both hands but there does come a time when we need to let go and move on.

This is one of those times.

If you have not lost connections with many people in your life in the past three to five years, you may be counting yourself lucky, but your day of reckoning is arriving. I’m not making dire predictions here, just stating the fact that everyone has one or more relationships that are frustrating and unfulfilling because you’re trying to help or save someone, and they aren’t cooperating.

Those relationships are ending now partly because the energy gaps have become too great and because we have other things to do than try to convince someone that the light path is the best one for them when they do not believe that it is.

And who are we to judge, really. We think that everyone’s light path should be the same when someone could be experiencing the greatest level of spiritual growth they have ever had across all of their lifetimes and we’re discounting that because it does not conform to our idea of what that light path should be.

Do you remember when your mother would ask you (or tell you) to clean your room? Depending on how old you were, you probably picked up a few things and called it done. I used to do that to my children, and I had to specify to clean it as I would clean it. And about once a month I would do a thorough cleaning of their rooms (usually with their protest) because I knew they were not going to clean the room the way I would clean it.

We do offer great gifts to our karmic partners, the gifts of light, healing, love, validation, support, understanding, compassion, and ascension. But the gift is not really a gift because we expect them to take it, use it, and change their lives accordingly.

Is it any wonder they reject us? We don’t think they should but think about how it feels to them, and this is the purpose of this article. Imagine how you would feel if someone walked into your home and started moving furniture around, getting rid of things, telling you how to manage your life, and generally taking over.

I know how I would feel – they would be shown the door very quickly. While we would never do this intentionally this is how our efforts look to someone that we think needs us but doesn’t want us or our light, our healing, and our interference (however well-meaning) in their life.

We believe that the gift of healing is the best thing we can give to those who need it, and it is, as long as it’s something they want and are ready for. But so often we see and are aware of the need for healing in others, and this is especially true for those who are strongly empathic and assume that they want to be healed. So, we bathe them in our healing light, only to find that we’re rejected on every level.

Why? Because before we extend healing to those we believe are in need of healing, we must ask whether it’s what they want, because as blasphemous as this may sound, everyone does not want healing or to be healed, and they’ll fight you with everything they have if you try to give them healing they are not ready for.

As much as we extend healing to those we know are hurting, suffering, and whose lives are limited by the presence of their fear and pain, with the best of intentions, it is the equivalent of spiritual arrogance and energetic manipulation to give people healing that they have not asked for, do not want, and are not ready for. Yes, even if you know they’re flat on the floor, if you try to pick them up before they’re ready to get up by themselves, they will slap your hand away and tell you to leave them alone. Why?

Because it’s not the healing they are afraid of, but what happens to them once they are healed. They feel more powerful in their unhealed state, which is their comfort zone, than being healed, which is not only their discomfort zone, it’s also totally unfamiliar and quite scary. Some people are empowered by their pain, even if that doesn’t make sense to you, and they are grounded through the pain and chaos they choose to live with. If you try to change that, they will be lost, ungrounded, confused, and in unfamiliar and scary territory.

Before someone can accept healing, they need to find a new source of empowerment to replace the one they are currently using. Even if it doesn’t bring them peace and joy, it’s still what they are comfortable with and they don’t want to give it up until they are ready. Then they may be ready for your healing and light eventually and maybe not. When they are though, it will be on their terms, and you may not be the healer who heals them.

Sometimes they need to suffer first, they need a ‘mean’ teacher who is going to give them ultimatums and fill their lives with such drama and chaos that they will run towards the light. They will eventually get the lesson but on their own terms and when they are truly ready.

It doesn’t have to make sense or be logical, as it’s part of the acceptance and non-judgment that we must be willing to extend to others as we complete our own healing journey. One of the reasons we want certain people to be healed involves our own karma and we believe that healing them gives us closure and we can move on, karma free. But that’s our agenda and it is built on several false assumptions:

♦ that everyone needs to have healing and closure in a specific way for karma to be over,

♦ that we are responsible for others’ healing,

♦ that just because we know someone is in pain we assume they want to be healed,

♦ that we must be their healer and that’s why we are on their path, and

♦ that all karmic partners must be healed in the same way for karmic closure to happen.

And in reference to the healer point above, we think that if we are on someone past we MUST be there to heal them. It doesn’t occur to us that they may be on our path to release us from the need to heal them, so that we let go and move on. Why do we always think that karma and healing are always for other people and not for us?

Did you have to sit at the table until you ate everything on your plate? Listen to the podcast for more on this topic.

As I wrote in Ascending into Miracles — The Path of Spiritual Mastery, “Karma is like a dance and when one of the partners stops dancing, the karmic dance is over.” We now have the opportunity to end karma, which has been the purpose of this soul cycle and we’re at the turning point. The karmic dance is over when we choose to step away. Then the other person will either find a new karmic partner or decide to stop dancing too. We are not responsible for that choice, nor do we have any control over it.

Maybe it’s because we have been around this dance floor so many times with the same partners that we are tired of dancing, and we just want them to get on with the healing and be done so we can all go home or do something else. Maybe it’s because we are afraid that if they do not get the healing integrated we’ll have to come back and do this again and we certainly do not want to do that.

Or maybe it’s because we think that ascension stops if everyone is not on board, and we do not want to get left behind with these stragglers who won’t get on board with the program.

For whatever reason we have for wanting to shine our light at those we think are spending way too much time in the dark, we’re losing patience with them and it’s showing up in how we shine our light on people who need us and then convince ourselves that in spite of every indication that they do not want anything to do with us or our healing work, that they truly want us.

Are we ready to let our need for healing go and let everyone heal in their own time, at their own pace, and when they’re ready? Can we be the Light Beacons and shine healing potential on humanity’s path so they can see it when they’re ready, or will we continue to be Light Workers, striving to heal a world, through our own fear of karma’s continued presence, by extending healing to people we know may need it, but who don’t want it or are not ready for it.

It’s time to let karma be a thing of the past it belongs to and pave the healed and whole path to the new paradigms that everyone has access to, when they are ready for healing, by being an example of joyful, joy-filled, healed and whole living, so they can make that choice for themselves, when they are ready to be empowered by a new way of being that is karma and pain-free.

And as far as those that we believe need healing. It isn’t our place to judge them or assume that we are their teacher. They may be on our path to be the catalyst so we release ourselves from our karmic entanglements with them because the karmic lesson is for us to learn and the, when they are ready, they will find the light with the person or situation that will convince them that they do not need or want to be in the dark.

And when that day comes they may seek you out to show you their new light and proudly display their healing. If that happens know that you helped set them on the path and you were part of the process. It doesn’t’ matter who turns on the healing light or gets someone out of their darkness. It happens with the right person and under the right circumstances and no amount of trying can make it happen any differently or any sooner.

And in the end all that matters is that we release our own karmic burdens and create our path to joy so we can live a joyful, joy-filled life without the burdens of healing and karma.

SF Source Enlightening Life Aug 2023