True Empathy and the Myth of Self-Esteem

Alexander Light – The definition of empathy is simple. Is the ability to feel what others feel.

FuturamaParadoxically, the simplicity of this concept has led it to be absurdly misunderstood. Here you will find why, will find what true empathy is, and when self-esteem becomes only a panacea.

Maybe you remember that episode of Futurama when Bender was implanted with an integrated circuit (nailed into his head with a hammer) in order for Bender to feel what Leela felt. It was funny.

This plot constitutes a faithful portrait of the standard concept of empathy – that somehow it’s an ability that people gain that can be attained as easily as tuning frequencies in a device.

Misuses of the empathy concept

In our occidental and capitalist culture, many concepts and ideas have been adapted to the production lifestyle. Spirituality itself has in some instances become an industrial product driven by supply and demand. There are gurus, lecturers, authors, YouTubers, and a whole world of trends related to geek spirituality, mostly directed to motivate people and inspire them to success, triumph and ego worship.

Empathy is part of this. It has been turned into a kind of totem, another forefront product or service, even possible to be offered in short class sessions for a wide range of workers, especially those who work with other people like sales and customer service workers.

The term empathy is often misused in arguments, in daily life arguments and in public activism . If someone doesn’t accept the point of view of someone else, they might say  “I regret your lack of empathy,” which of course is a logical bias.

But, a person cannot learn how to be an empath. A person, IS, or ISN’T an empath. As well occurs with the other conditions of the spectrum: apathy, antipathy, and psychopathy, people doesn’t choose to be one of them, neither can choose to stop being one of them.

Empathy is a gift – or even a burden – possessed by special people – evolved souls, Indigos and Crystals; Shamans, Starseeds, HSPs… It relates to use of the right side of the brain. By the way, David Icke mentions in some of his books some experiments about the physiology of empathy.

The more a person uses the left side of his or her brain over the right side, the more dependent they become on language to communicate. This is the nature of extroverts vs introverts, the sanguines vs melancholics, and in the extreme, the empaths vs psychopaths.

Sales and customer service workers are in the antipodes of melancholics and introvert people. They need to be sanguine and extrovert. What is more, the educative system and social engineering in media bless the extroverts and sanguines and condemn the introverts and melancholics.

In the same way, a true Shaman, StarseedIndigo, Crystal, HSP, healer or lightworker, who IS and MUST BE a true empath, is absolutely not interested in any activism. Empaths hardly take part in politics. They are the kind of people who have lost faith in government systems.

To the empath there is no sense in debates like – feminism against machismo, republicans against democrats, Christians against Muslim. These are arguments they are not interested in. They have intuition (even though they are not always aware of have it) and realize all these ideologies go against nature, against the Divine. That’s why the establishment fights so hard against introverts and melancholics via the education system and media. In schools, introversion is perceived as a dangerous disease to fight against, because it places the person on the opposite side of the wanted profile of narcissist, extrovert and successful matrix person.

So, the use of the empathy concept by popular culture is wildly wrong, even when not hypocritical.

True empathy

“To feel what other feels”. It sounds easy, enough to be object of a wide conceit. This is due to the need of a language. After all, the definition is of only 5 words, and from there, free interpretation could be applied.

But let’s see what real empathy is, beyond whether it is a blessing or a gift, because it could seem sometimes a burden. Empathy is an unknown or underrated condition.

Real empathy explains behaviors and conduct that nowadays are explained exclusively by  obsessed orthodox psychology the last few decades as Self-Esteem.

How an empath is

How an empath is… especially when he or she doesn’t know s/he is an empath.

When empaths become aware of their empathy, they usually make slight modifications in their behavior in order to protect themselves. Ask any known lightworker or healer. They do it.

Imagine a group of young people waiting for their turn to use a piece of equipment. Because of  human nature there must be a leader, he who tells them what to do, and this is what they do. Each person uses the equipment, from the first to the final step of its work. The equipment must be reset each time, which increases the time waiting.

Someone else thinks there’s a very much faster way to advance: If the equipment is used without resetting, in such way each person uses it in the settings of only one step, one person after another one. Then would adjust the equipment in the next step, for everybody again.

No resetting time would be required. When he proposes it, he experience how social psychology and nature in human groups acts : The leader feels intimidated in his dominance, therefore attacks the will of his enemy, via teasing and even disturbing his peace using insults.

Once his enemy is morally destroyed, and he doesn’t insist in his idea, the menace is defeated, since the insulted person prefers to stay in silence.

It really happened, the equipment was a mass spectrometer and the people, chemistry students. As you may see, the importance of the example lies not in the managing of time or in technical issues, but in the nature of people.

According to orthodox psychology, the object in question is self-esteem. The person who attacked the other to preserve his group dominance, has low self-esteem. And the person who felt attacked and didn’t insist, guess: He also has low self-esteem as well. For modern psychology, virtually everything can be explained based on self-esteem.

Now, let’s take a look of the same situation but from a different point of view, considering that people are:

Empathic: Feel what others feel.

Apathic:  Indifferent to the manifestations of other’s feelings.

Antipathic: Feel uncomfortable with the other’s feeling manifestations and attack them.

Psychopath: Others don’t exist, so neither do feelings.

The leader of the group clearly showed antipathetic behavior. And he who was attacked to prevent a potential leadership threat and stood in silence, showed empathic traits. The leader, defending his status, launched an attack, offending and teasing, obtaining support of the group because of their laughter. On the other hand the empath assimilates what others are feeling. How ridiculous he looks. He feels what others feel, and decides to retract and shut up, feeling really, really bad.

This is totally different to the self-esteem theory. Persons lacking empathy appeal to empathic traits of others to benefit when they need.

And this can become a very destructive symbiosis when a psycho finds an empath, because psychos take benefit of their victims even if there’s not a situation of need. Psychos feed from others with no guilty conscience. They are the so called emotional vampires: The worse others feel the better they feel.

Now, consider these symbiosis between empaths and others in every situation of life. In the School, in the affective, which means today a bloody battle camp where people need to become narcissist to survive; in the social development, and in the job: Empaths and their intrinsic traits are usually discriminated.

Psychological tests for candidates for average jobs are designed to select sanguine and extrovert people. Think of any psycho-technical test, it accomplishes with this. For example, the Wartegg test, that scrutinize directly the imagination of the applicant.

Wartegg test is used to select staff in jobs in which imagination is entirely not required. Similarly, for jobs who need imagination, this test is not used. So the test is intended to detect and discard people with imagination.

In our industrial world, empathy and its related traits, like imagination and sensibility, have became obsolete. Even doctors (industrial healers) and professors (industrial teachers), whose activities are worthy of empathy, have to line up with standards far away from empathy.

Deepak Chopra speaks about this, when he wonders why health researchers refuse to use the term love in their work about the circumstances that lead to normal development of children.

The empathic person, from its early life develops a personality that attempts to protect him from the low vibrational storm of the environment. They are the kind of person who blocks when someone is angry with him and argues. They don’t even respond. For traditional psychology, this conduct is sign of being an insecure person.

Empaths put themselves always in the last, and never in the beginning. This is after they feel how others feel, so, the better for the others, the better for themselves. Unfortunately, current standards of psychology states something different: Me first. And, again, for orthodox principles, he who puts himself not in the beginning, lacks of self-esteem.

Empaths prefer solitude. According to Aaron’s work, HSPs are one in twenty. Shaman traditions tell there’s only one shaman per village. The Divine must know how hard is to be a healer, so they don’t usually have family or not even lots of friends.

Nevertheless, for establishment’s psychology and its standards, solitary people suffers a kind of social disability, caused by a problem in… guess. Self-esteem.

Empaths are marvelous friends and lovers. Sadly, as is told, they prefer solitude. The unconditional love Indigos and Crystals give, is often depreciated in our reality in which ego is the only thing who deserves love.

Empaths are also outstanding artists and performers. This is a retroactive version of their ability to catch how other feel: They can transmit a feeling, in a role, a song, a painting, a poem, etc.

Empaths are people who need an exclusive space for them, to be their sanctuary of solitude, silence and peace, free of other’s vibrations. If an empath doesn’t have this, loses the reason (same thing the permanent solitude makes to a non empath).

Empaths are extremely susceptible to criticism. If someone criticize an empath or his work, the empath will see himself or his work with the eyes of the other, and will be unable to make any reply, specially to destructive criticism.

This is one of the major reasons for empaths to become introverts. Most of people result toxic for them. Try to think what does this mean for current paradigms of psychology. If can’t, I tell you: Low Self-esteem.

Empaths behave the way they would like other behave. They shrink for others can be at ease.

Finally! If you know an empath, stop thinking he or she needs to increase his or her self-esteem, to go out and make friends, to speak a lot more, or to use much more the left side of the brain.

or…

If  you’re an empath and didn’t know it, you’ve been told hundreds of times, you have to fix your self-esteem to line up with social standards. Relax, you don’t need to love yourself first to love others or to be loved.

You are in a further state of evolution. You don’t even need language to spread love. You love others because you know they and you are not separated, you and others belong to the same. You love yourself by loving others.

SF Source Humans Are Free  Jul 2018

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