Divorce is probably not something you foresaw the day you agreed to marry the person you’re now at odds with, and it’s unfortunate if this parting of ways has now become your reality.
During the divorce, you might find yourself slipping into a negative frame of mind, behaving badly toward your soon-to-be ex or making rash decisions fueled by emotion — and you certainly wouldn’t be the first person to do so. However, that doesn’t mean that you should.
Once your divorce is final, you can work on moving on with your life, but until then, it’s important to conduct yourself with dignity.
1. Avoid Drowning Your Sorrows
Although it may be tempting, avoid partaking in things that could be harmful in the short or long-term. For example, getting into the habit of overindulging in alcohol on a regular basis or turning to food throughout the day and evening in an attempt to comfort yourself can result in adverse effects that will only make things worse.
Remind yourself that this stage of your life will run its course, and things will get better. You just have to exercise patience.
2. Avoid Situations That Invite Impulsiveness
If you know that it’s a bad idea to accept an invitation to an event where your ex will be or agree to go away with friends that are less interested in supporting you than having fun, don’t do it. When you’re emotionally hurting, you may not think as clearly or as logically as you would normally, which means you could do something impulsive.
3. Approach the Divorce With Logic, Not Emotion
This means that even if you fantasize about getting revenge on your previous significant other in every way possible, don’t go that route. Make a concerted effort to keep your thoughts rooted in logic, not emotion.
Avoid taking actions and words personally — no matter how difficult that might be. Instead, try to approach each situation as someone on the outside looking in as a way to deal with challenges logically.
4. Treat Your Soon-To-Be Ex With Respect
Choose to take the high road in your dealings with your previous partner. Although he or she may want to engage in mudslinging and underhanded tactics, don’t take the bait. Instead, be respectful. This doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to be nice. It just means you shouldn’t act disrespectfully.
Depending on what type of person your soon-to-be ex is, you may or may not be treated in kind. Even so, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter how you’re treated because you won’t let it change how you’ve chosen to treat others.
5. Take a Break From Social Media
It’s easy to get emotional, especially when it feels like your life is falling apart. Unfortunately, social media is a place where people often strive to present a view of themselves — and often their marriages — that seems to ooze perfection.
Sadly, some people insist on designing a virtual life that’s not even close to reality, but being aware of that practice doesn’t make it sting any less if you see it. Being bombarded by these romantic images and words is not something you need, so don’t feel bad about shelving your social media time for a while.
6. Find an Attorney That Understands Your Views
During a divorce, it’s likely that you’ll need an attorney — especially if there are assets at stake or children involved. Take the time to hire one that understands how you want to handle your divorce and will respect it.
According to Mark Rees divorce lawyer, “The decisions that you make right now will certainly impact your future.” And choosing the wrong attorney to represent you can definitely have negative repercussions.
7. Keep Your Children’s Lives as Normal as Possible
If children are involved, keep their routines and schedules as normal as you possibly can, so they won’t have to deal with yet another change in their lives. Also, try to be as flexible as possible when it comes to coordinating with your soon-to-be-ex because it will make it easier on everyone involved.
8. Don’t Jump Into a New Relationship
Last, but not least, don’t jump into a new relationship — especially if you have children. Both you and your children need time to heal and gain some perspective before you attempt to become one-half of a couple again.
It’s true that you are only human with a need for companionship but waiting until the fallout clears can be a good thing. To keep your mind off being lonely, occupy yourself with other things, such as a hobby you’ve been wanting to try or visiting with family members you rarely have time for.
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