“We more often than not are like blind babies in a beehive when it comes to the only person we can never escape from…ourselves! It seems we will gladly do anything rather compare our own self image to that of our true self.” – Chautauqua
A new born baby wakes up alone in the crib, and cries. Genetic memory tells him it will bring mom. Somewhere else that same night, a toddler barges into his parents room demanding to sleep with them, he’s not afraid of the dark as he claims…he’s afraid of being alone in the dark. Just down the street the very next night a battered woman returns to the man who beat her, for the exact same reason.
Without doubt, we humans possess the genetic memory of when our kind was prey to predators in the night; which no doubt accounts for why we feel uncomfortable, even vulnerable in the dark. We are a social species who first lived together discovering safety in numbers; and finding it also very profitable, chose it as permanent lifestyle. We not only like the company of others, we depend upon it, even need it on a psychological level.
Our commute to work is often in a zone of solitude; which we immediately equip with phones, Bluetooth, DVD player and anything else necessary to prevent us from being alone with our own thoughts…and emotions. Every day of our lives, much of our mental energy is devoted to avoiding prolonged periods of solitude.
Nowadays TV monitors are standard equipment on many commercial airlines and even high end automobiles in accordance with our predilection for distraction from our own thoughts: and the pursuit of money becomes the primary distraction from such introspection that solitude provides the space for.
Society is filled with a thousand different distractions a day, providing us ample avenues of escape from solitude. We even invented a card game or two as time wasters to prevent us from thinking about things we don’t wish to think about. Without a doubt television is so very popular for the very reason it doesn’t require much thought, and takes our thoughts away from our self, with all it’s malnourished aspects.
In fact, solitude and isolation seem to impart real discomfort and even pain to the average human; which is why parents, schools and prisons use solitary confinement as an effective punishment.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain
Why is it so many rational adults fear isolation & solitude? Why are we so uncomfortable during prolonged periods of isolation? Does the proximity of others provide us with something we cannot obtain ourselves? Or is it perhaps an issue more pertaining to aversion…avoiding the uncomfortable. Could it be that we’re uncomfortable with solitude because it opens the door of introspection, affording us the opportunity to be face to face with our truest thoughts and emotions…our essential self.
True it is that we each need some “me time” on a regular basis just to retain our tenuous grip on reality and sort things out: but the kind of solitude I refer to is not the regular maintenance type, but more prolonged in nature. Does this aversion reaction to prolonged solitude relate to the time spent in the womb during gestation, as some kind of latent memory of being helpless in a liquid limbo? Could this be the reason we generally avoid being along for extended periods of time? I wonder. Might there be a different explanation. While we do benefit greatly from our intentional me time and find it a necessity, too much of a good thing often has unintended results. One unintended result of extended solitude is that sooner or later you will run out of distractions, and other things to think about…and will be left face to face with your own true self.
“Life will find you where ever you go” ~ Warren Zevon
An excellent example would be the way folks generally behave during unexpected power failures. Continue reading . . .